Friday, September 4, 2009

Dr. Jones

Chris and I have been beside ourselves a bit the last little while, and last Sunday during our joint meeting we had A LOT of inspiration thanks to Dr. Jones. This man amazed me, he's so stinkin' smart! He taught us that we need to use basic principles as we raise our children. Who would have thought it was that easy...well, it's not! Being human we forget and we make mistakes, unintentionally of coarse. So, as he used these basic principles, he was sparking ideas right and left, and my pen could hardly keep up as I tried to write all these things down. He started off with the importance of not criticizing, which falls under the principle of not judging others. It's not our place to tell someone what we think of them, the ultimate judge is our Heavenly Father, so lets leave it up to him. The second was to kick contention and anger out, DON"T argue at all; it doesn't matter if you're right, you're DOING wrong. So, never argue with your spouse, I think that means to agree to disagree, and don't argue with your children either. He had a really great idea for those times that they'll come to you and want to do something you know you're not going to let them do:
Ask them why, take that list of things and tell them you are going to consider and speak to Dad/Mom about it, and then when you go to tell them why they can't go, use the following 2 words which Dr. Jones says are magic and will end any argument: NEVERTHELESS and REGARDLESS. Your reason for not letting them go is because you love them. Never say that it's because you are the Mom or use any form of criticism either. The child will be so worn out between trying to come up with reasons and possibly sounding like a broken record when you tell them why not, that they'll drop it. By doing this, your children will learn that they can't argue to get what they want. This was kind of confusing to me, but Dr. Jones said you will see a difference and not have to deal with arguing if you use this method. I figure that I'll use it on Aniston and see if it works. This statement he made really stuck out to me as he was finishing with this topic:
It's not your job to stop your kids from wandering, it's to teach them the gospel, live the gospel yourself, and to love them...unconditionally.
So the last thing he talked about was gold to me. I couldn't wait to go home and do it! It involved making something, which I love to make things, and buying stuff for Aniston, which I love to do even more! You get a box and have your kids decorate it any way they want, then you take them to the store and you pick out a whole bunch of things that they like, but don't get very often or treats you don't have regularly and you have them put all the stuff in this box they've decorated. Then you make them a "happy chart" and decorate "happy faces" and do one "sad face". Then as they go throughout the day, you reward them with happy faces for doing things they're asked to do and for being happy. If they are not happy, then you put the sad face on their board and the game is on hold until they are happy and being good again. Once they get so many happy faces on their board, they get to choose something out of the box. This is not to teach them that they get something when they are good, because you don't always give them happy faces for everything, just randomly. It will teach them gratification in doing good. So, after making this board with Aniston's help(it took a few days because we could only do it for so long and then she would get board and distracted) we've used it for 2 days and she's getting the hang of it and she really likes the happy faces! Now, where to hang it up????

1 comment:

Sheena said...

I really like that smile board. That's an interesting idea. Thanks for sharing.